Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
