I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize