How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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