Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
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The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
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That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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