Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
