yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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