the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
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I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
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Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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