I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
