On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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