I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize