i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
