Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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