I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize