We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Still dying that you shit outside
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
