My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
