Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize