It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
