remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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