Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
sex in a hospital.. check
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
