turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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