she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize