alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
These tits shall not be calmed
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
