just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize