Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
