i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
