it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
