morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
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Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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