I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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