franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
