I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
