My boss' voice literally gives me gas
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
