i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
