just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
