i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
two words: eviction party
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
