How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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