yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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