Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
