the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize