Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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