Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize