can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
