He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
