What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
bring money and cleavage
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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