did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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