How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
