I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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