at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
