He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
