i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
