just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
