considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize