how can u be prego again
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
