I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
