Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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