I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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