But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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