I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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