She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
