Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
