people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
