dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
