Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
