During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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